I'm A Follower

I've been on twitter for a minute, so if you're on it too hit me up. I'm illpayne

I've been following Tina Fey and she is too damn funny

1. Amos probably didn't start out Famous, but with cookies this good, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.9:55 AM Feb 12th from web
2. Am I eating a Caramello bar for lunch? Yes. Yes I am.11:06 AM Feb 3rd from web
3. What does Monica Lewinski say to her new boyfriend? "It's close, but it's no cigar."7:28 AM Jan 20th from web
4. I like my men like my peanut butter: chunky.6:45 PM Jan 19th from web
5. Are Eggrolls just Chinese Hotpockets?1:22 PM Jan 16th from web
6. I don't know why I even bother chewing corn anymore.1:45 PM Jan 13th from web
7. I'm not ashamed to admit this can of cheetos has been rolling around my desk drawer since 2006. And they're still good.6:26 AM Jan 9th from web
8. I love the happy laundry day accident of putting on what you think is unmatching, and then realizing you look more stylish than usual.12:55 PM Dec 23rd, 2008 from web
9. You tell the sandwich artist "a dab of mayo" and they slather it. It's almost like they're not being paid a living wage or something.