Monday, May 25, 2009

No More...

I would like to think of myself as caring/giving person. Some times I'm too caring and will always lending a helping hand o help others because I don't like to see friends nor family struggle. With that being said, I think I have reached a breaking point to helping others out. I really need to start being greedy and help myself because I need to live my life and not worry about others. The people that really know me, know that I've have been through a lot and I hold back and bottle things up(which not healthy). I have struggled my way through college with no money at all. I went to college full time, I had 2 jobs that really worked around my school schedule. Every month for the 4 years in that I was in college was a constant struggle. Being negative in my checking account every time time and mad debt. I really love the people that have looked out for me and helped me along the way and made sure I graduated. I will always remember what they have done for me. So when I see friends or family struggle, I don't want to see that at all so I try to help out when they ask. The past 6 months I realized that you can't help everyone all the time. If you keep helping them, they will tend to take advantage of you, because they know that you'll there. There comes a point when you just have to say no because you give and give and there's no change, no return, not even a single effort from people that you help. Yeah they might say thank you, but it's all about the respect and effort to give back or a feeling of being appreciated.
I have helped friends pay their full months rent, car notes, meds, repo'd cars, utilizes, and etc. Some have paid me back and some well... Some people change their numbers and not tell you so you have to hunt them down. Then there's the family member whom I love dearly, but it's getting to the point where I can't help anymore. Tomorrow will be the test for him. After this there will no more giving from me. I have learned my lesson and I have paid it forward plenty of times. It's time for me to refocus and think about where I want to be and my future plans. Am I being greedy? No, not at all.

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